were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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