I like to think it a success when the cops are called
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
