it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
