Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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