This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
His nipple licking is glorious
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