its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
