go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
