I just cut my nipple shaving
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize