I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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