you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
