My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
