Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
