So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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