I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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