Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
