I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
