So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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