She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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