your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
