why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
