Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
