trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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