8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
