Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
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He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
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I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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