But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I wear drunk well.
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