I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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