I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
