the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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