Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
