So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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