Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
