New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I had to cum in my sink.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
