Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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