Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
