aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
