Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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