the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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