i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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