5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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