Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Fuck appropriateness.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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