he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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