I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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