you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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