Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
