Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
