Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
