I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
