This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
