Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
