Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
