This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I will be naked everywhere
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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