im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
not ubering you a puppy
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
