Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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