Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
