I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
