what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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