Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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