Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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