Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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