I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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