wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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