Buhtt sex?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
