Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
