Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
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