if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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