u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
