Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
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