Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
