It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
