My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
