so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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