ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
